A Time of Change and Growth

Today is a new day.  It is Tuesday and I had to check my computer to verify that it was not Thursday which was my first guess.  Working nights does change things up...lol.

This weekend I am heading back to my little house near Silver Lake.  The trees are so beautiful but they are past peak as the leaves find their way down into mounds of muted autumn tones that now cover the ground.  My friend has begun the yearly trek south to her winter abode.  The chill in the air this morning had transformed my vehicle when I walked out of the hospital this morning.  It had snugly wrapped my car with the white crisp frost that will become the norm in the weeks to come.  Winter is slipping up on us, once again.

I have packed things that I will bring back to the little house this trip.  It is the first step of my migration back to my simple life in small town America.  It means so much to me to be able to settle back into the setting that brought me so much comfort.  That little shanty is my little piece of heaven; it is my safe place during a time of transition.

This week has been a good one for my sister and I.  We have been able to speak with each other several times at length even though we live at opposite ends of the country.  It is evident that something has brought us closer despite the distance.

I found her father's family for her after a great many years of searching.  It has been difficult in a way we had not foreseen.  She and I have been siblings for sixty years and now she has two half-brothers and four more half-sisters.  It has shaken her to the core.  The ripple affect is evident in our conversations; they appear to be lengthy, supportive. reaffirmations of our own birthright.  We were born and brought up in a familial bond that will never be compromised by the discovery of new siblings.

In our chatting I realize that she just needs to know that I have her back during this time of growth and change.  We will always be joined at the hip...lol.  I remember how we used to fight when we were young.  We were a royal example of sibling rivalry with a dash of Irish humor from the maternal side of our family tree and American swagger from our fathers, I guess.  If we were not squabbling people who say that there must be a storm coming our way.

It brings tears to my eyes to know that our mother would be so pleased that we have made contact with William Mack Gordon's children.  His photo has been such a blessing to us both. It brings a sense of closure to the decade-long search.

I realize that my own need to be in my own bed, in my own little shanty, near the lake may also represent my own reality.  I have searched for years to be able to give my sister this gift.  The changes that are coming have given me cause to hesitate as well.  She is all I have...I worry not about losing her but rather that they will not accept her and break her heart.  I have to step back, just breathe, and let things take their course.  It is in God's hands.