Sunday, August 20, 2017

Rest Without Recreation

I spent the weekend resting here at the apartment.  Miss Punkin was spayed on Friday morning so we had a very quiet time; Little Dude and I rested the whole time she was gone.  It was very quiet until she arrived back at 11:00 am Saturday morning.  Although I must admit she was somewhat subdued compared to her usual feisty

I have been thinking about taking the winter off so I can take care of the little house.  It seems to go down hill every time it is left empty like that.  I know it won't be long before it falls in if it is not kept up.  It is a simple shanty but it is all I have for shelter and refuge when I stop working to retire.

Today, I found out that a young man from the Rez had died.  He was only 19 years old; I remember him when he was just in school.  He was such a very bright little fellow.  I wonder what happened to him in the years since I had seen him.  He was way too young to die.  Prayers for his mother; she is a woman in recovery.  May God help her through this time.

My goodness, it seems that I am reminded over and over that life is so short.  Each and every day is so precious.  It makes me think of a dear friend, Turhan, long gone now...he used to work away like I am.  He was hurt on the job and he told me that all he could think of was that he did not want to die alone.  He was a very spiritual man.  He came home and years later he passed away with his wife at his side.

It will be another five weeks until I am done here in NEPA.  That is time for me to think and gather my things together to return to my little place.  I have made arrangements to disperse the furniture that I won't need to take with me.  I will have enough put back to carry me through but that extra money will help me during my time off.  It is time to pray for God's direction and rest in the knowledge that I am forever in His care.  Each day is His...

Monday, August 14, 2017

Back to Work...Peace and Quiet

I drove up to the little house on Friday morning after work.  I brought a love seat and chair for the living room; the couch needed to be replaced.  Managed to get it out of the van and onto a large sheet of plastic that I could drag the chair (and love seat) around to the back door.  Maneuvering both pieces and getting them into the house took some  My tenant just had a pacemaker put in so she was having a hard time watching me work to get the pieces into the house.  Once I got that done I settled the pieces into their places; it looked very nice but I do believe that the chair is a little large for the little house.

On Saturday, the fence panels that I had ordered arrived early in the day. This gave me time to put together a dog enclosure for Little Dude and Punkin.  Again, I did way too much!  I have two piles of stones that need spread out but that is going to have to wait until next weekend.  I need a

Sign me, Worn out
Living Simpy in Small Town America

Monday, December 5, 2016

Back from The Little House

I spent the weekend at the little house.  We managed to get someone to move the flat deck from the back to the front of the shanty.  He set the frame in place, put blocks under it, and replaced the decking.  It makes such a difference in the look of the place.  I made a mental note that this is another thing off of my list of repairs needed to be done.

It was a muddy bog again as it had rained for two days.  It makes it nasty with the dogs wanting to get  Thank goodness it cleared up on Saturday so I could let them out again.  They love being in the side yard where there is still grass in place.

It feels good to be able to spend time at home even for a couple of days.  Just getting a chance to chat with my friends for a while is so comforting.  Alison spent time baking cookies this weekend for the church get together after their Christmas concert.  Fran went to an old-fashioned Christmas tea at the United Church in Castile.  Martha was involved in the Garden Club sale at the Clothing Closet.  Sharon was not long up when I called her so we could have breakfast together.  I miss the community; it is nice to hear that there will be a cookie sale and several suppers during my week off. 

So let's see, I mailed my secret sister gift out, picked up my mail, returned my library books, and bought a couple of towels since I forgot to bring them with.  Running errands gives me a sense of stability, I think.  I am connected when I am there in the little town of Perry.  I belong there.

On Sunday morning I get back in my car with my dogs to drive back to work in NEPA.  It is good to be back at work as well...I have to provide for myself (and my fur babies).

Sign me, Content to Live Simply in Small Town America

Thursday, December 1, 2016

I Am Afraid...

It is almost December 1, 2016.  I am still working and I have agreed to extend until March 2017.  Why?  It is rooted in my fear to be without income again.  My hesitation to be at risk for needing assistance to make ends meet is the core of my fear.

My mother was a single mom who never had the opportunity to move forward; she became dependent on the system for her support.  I know that having to turn to the dole office when she had me and my sister was a basic survival move.  Unfortunately, it appeared to me that being on the dole gradually robbed her of the motivation to be independent.  She just lived within the parameters of that minimal existence for the rest of her life.

It seemed to me that my lot in life would be just getting pregnant and winding up on the dole when I was growing up.  There just did not seem to be any other options when I looked around. 

I remember doing things that fed my interests when I was in school.  Candystriping at St.Clare's Hospital was so important to me.  I worked as many days as they would have me; I carried trays to the patient's rooms.  It was so good to be a volunteer there; it kept me out of the house.  When I asked the Sister if I could bring my little sister with me she was good with that.  So my little sister and I carried trays, brought drinks, and anything else that we were needed to do. We would get a free meal in return for our volunteer services.  It would be a good meal and it felt good to work for that.  It also helped me to build my work experience.

Why am I so apprehensive to give up working to retire?  The work gives me such satisfaction; I love interacting with the patients and their families.  I know how much it means to me each time there is a new diagnosis or syndrome to look up or research.  I want to keep on learning. 

The part of me that misses my little house, my flower beds, my life at the lake, and my friends at St. Joe's is making me wonder if it is my heart is like being called home again.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Retirement Anyone?

On November 9th, I will be 62 years old. That means that I can quit working and retire on the fruits of my labors....ideally. This has been a reality check for me because I have not worked steadily like most people. I stayed home with my kids and worked as a Kelly Girl over the early years.

Today, I called the Social Security Administration office local to my home base. They are taking care of my Ticket To Work process and it is time for me to connect with them. Apparently, if I take my social security retirement I will make less (-30%) than I did on Disability. (Cannot imagine that...) I supplemented that income with HEAP, food stamps, and medicaid covered my prescriptions, medical appointments, etc.  If I were to retire I would be reverting back to surviving on the system that I struggled to free myself from four years ago.

I have to keep working like so many of my peers while others are retiring and enjoying their golden years.  Some of us joke about the Golden Years...they are somewhat tarnished in our views.

I have been asked if I can get my social security retirement based on my husband's earnings...he always worked in Canada.

Yes, I feel that I have painted myself into a corner because I could not accept living under the ...but no matter what, God is good. When I pulled up my big girl panties, finished my Bachelor's Degree, sucked it up, and got a job that got me off Disability I onmade a choice to move forward no matter what repercussions that might bring.  I remember my first job in West Virginia I would find myself collapsing into bed each day after work.  I would cry because I loved doing EEGs again, the peers that were so into what we do, they tech who provided education for the techs, the all made me want to keep going.  I remember seeing my reflection in the glass windows in the hallway and wondering just how I got so old.  I kept going even when I began to second-guess my decision.  The exhaustion gradually gave way to better days and to energy levels that were improving. The neurologist told me that I had become stronger when I went back to work.

I have a good job and I still have my health. There are days when I feel like I am slogging through emotional and physical muck.  The good days are a breath of fresh air.  Last week I collapsed into bed and slept and slept whenever I got home.  This week I feel better.  Heck, I was just dancing to music right here in the living room of the apartment (that my job provides for me).

Sign me, Living Simply On Assignment In Small Town America