This is More Like it...

I received this today from a friend who thought I needed a laugh...

20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY‏

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For smuggling diamonds." 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work. 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their part because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: - E-mail this to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy

Boy, am I crabby today...

I think I should have used capitals in the title. I am sitting here just trying to get underneath the crabbiness that I have been struggling with today. Yes, underneath... I have learned in the past that if I am struggling with being angry, frustrated, or discouraged, I have to dig deeper to the root. Like digging up a weed...if you don't get the root then it will grow back.

So here I sit. Well, let's see. I was studying today and I had hoped to get through three chapters in three different books. No, two more...I had already read through one of them. My boarder had taken over the television; it is Saturday so he tuned in all the testosterone-driven shows. Hunting, fishing, the dirty jobs, lobster fishermen, heck, there is even some show called, "Manhunter". Yup, they hunt people for fun. Heck, I saw that movie once...Jean Claude (can eat crackers in my bed anytime) Van Damme showed them didn't he!

I retreated to my headphones and continued studying about World War II. I wanted to kick him out of the living room but now that I am older I have to learn to play NICE. I have never kicked him out of the living room...for that...really. Before I started yelling about the man shows...I headed out.

For a peaceful diversion, I had taken my dog for a walk and he broke his harness trying to pull like a sled dog. He weighs twenty pounds but when he got a bead on the Jack Russell...well, he started pulling like a husky at the iditarod. (Google that one...lol!) Sure enough he broke the metal clasp that secures the harness.

But I handled it...I redid the harness to make sure he would not go AWOL on me. We had a lovely walk albeit a little shorter than usual. My dog has double cataracts that have obviously blurred his vision. He does have problems but they fall away when he gets a scent on another critter.

We got back home and he sprawled out to take a nap. Neighbor came to the back door and startled my dog. BIG BARKING FREAK OUT! Hustle the little poocheroonie to the front yard aka Shadow's Penalty Box. He was not even out the front door when the neighbor had come in the back door. What is it with people...when you tell them that your dog BITES they don't think it is serious because he only weighs 20 pounds? So after the visit I let Shadow back in, he returned to his pre-slumber position. Looked rather comfortable, you know.

Then I heard a 4-wheeler in the back yard. The dog went BALLISTIC again. Three kids on the back porch. I am yelling, "Don't open the Door"!!! Hustled dog back into his cage. I did realize that I was a little loud and perhaps shrill when I was yelling. Hustled Shadow to the penalty box again. This time he growled at me. Rats! Gave him a little duff...

Let him back in after the kids went on their way. They have been warned not to open the door because Shadow will BITE!...not NIP...BITE! So now I gathered Shadow back up and brought him back in. Actually, I opened the back door and he barreled into the house right to the back door. The door was closed so he returned to his pre-slumber position.

This time I locked the friggin' door. Before I go any further...can you figure out why I am crabby today??? Let's see if I can.

Sign me, GIVE ME back the darn remote, or

Sign me, stop making my dog NUTS, or

Sign me, HEY, I AM TRYING TO STUDY HERE!!!!!, in small town America, M

You pick the one that you think works...lol! I feel so much better. WHEW!

How to Make a Candy Wreath

Thought you would like some Christmas ideas that won't break the bank! Here is a lovely wreath that only takes three pounds of candy to make.

Sign me, Thinking about Christmas Gifts in small town America, M

http://www.livingonadime.com/ebooks/candy-wreath-freebie.html

Is it Sunday Evening already?

How did it get to be Sunday evening already??? I have been studying since 4:30 this morning. No, I just woke up and could not get back to sleep. So...I came out into the living room, got my American history book, and began to read Chapter 22. Well, it was good going for a good while but then I kept waking up. So, the time that I woke up the most, I got up and took a lovely shower. I blow-dried my hair, got dressed, and came back to Chapter 22. Where was I...after the Spanish-American war and before...well, you go the idea. I found my place again.

I read some more and then I woke up again. This time it was 7:40 a.m. That is much better. Continued with Chapter 22. Made it past the bit about the fighting in the Philippines (I think that is spelled wrong). On to the surge of imperialism that American experienced at the turn of the century.

It is evening now. The day has been a good day to study. I watched a PBS video on Eleanor Roosevelt for the history course, finished Chapter 22, and started the review questions. Had my professor have a look at my music appreciation Power Point presentation about Stravinsky. Ate breakfast, lunch, and supper. Treated myself with two mini bagels (cinnamon and raisin) with fat-free cream cheese.

This semester I have music appreciation, american history, technical report writing, and biopsychology of chronic illness...sorry about all the lower case letters...lol! It occurred to me that I have four more courses to go to finish my bachelors degree. Wow! I am not sure I will be believing it. I am looking forward to it. I am going to sit and relax this evening. I may review Chapter 22. (One of my friends is watching football on my TV....wish I liked football.)

Sign me, plugging along the education trail in small town America, M

Harvesting the Desert

This is a really excellent story of a tribe from the southwestern region of the United States. The tribe has had an extremely high incidence of diabetes. They had abandoned the natural foods that the tribe had historically eaten for the fast foods of the drive thru generation. To quote the article, "The Tohono O'odham Nation has chosen to fight diabetes and obesity with a return to desert foods".

cholla buds

Sign me, loving the simplicity of life, M